TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
