Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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