I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
