I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
