that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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