All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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