Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
