ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i've created a new STD.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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