You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
