he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
