need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
