I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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