Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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