Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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