Umm I'm too high to move.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
