I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
