were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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