You're completely useless in the revolution.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
