Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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