I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize