Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize