well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
