We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
