If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
