So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
