So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
