Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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