the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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