So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm passing your future prison.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You pole danced in your parka.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
