I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My hand turned me down
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
