I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
