I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
