i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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