singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
