The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
