I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
