dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
