Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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