found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Say something about gay babies.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
