Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Don't tell me you're on acid again
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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