im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize