***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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