If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i think i have two assholes
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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