this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize