Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
