Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize