Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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