try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
