I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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