I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
