a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
