i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize