Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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