You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
And then he peed in my hair
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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