why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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