I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
