I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You don't make any sense
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