I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
