i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
