dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so let's talk penis.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
